Fostering Hope

In honor of Foster Care Awareness Month.

From a young age, I wanted to adopt. I remember learning about adoption in kindergarten and recognizing the love and impact a family could have on a child by taking in one that was not originally their own. I knew I wanted to make that decision when I was a parent. It was a question I asked my serious boyfriend before we got engaged: “Are you open to adopting someday?” Short pause, then - “Yes,” he said. 

As our marriage progressed and we had two biological children, we knew we wanted to start talking about adoption. But instead of going through an adoption agency, we decided to go through foster care instead. The reason for this was even though we knew we would have kids come through our home who we would not adopt, we would still be able to have an impact on them and show them God’s love. 

We went through foster care training at the end of 2020, and had our first placement in the Spring of 2021. We fostered for about three years, with five kids passing through our home for brief time periods, until in late August we received a phone call from DSS looking to place a 10 year old girl who was a prime candidate for adoption. We said yes to adopting her before we even met her. Our other girls were ages 7 and 9 at the time. 

This girl came into our home broken, shy, and scared, and we loved her. Even when it wasn’t easy to love her, we showed love to her. Even when she lied and stole things from us, we still showed love to her. Even when the less time consuming thing would have been to allow her character to develop however it may, we lovingly disciplined her and taught her right from wrong and patiently helped her succeed in school. 

Sometimes other parents tell me they considered foster care or adoption, but they were too scared that they wouldn’t be able to show the same love to their foster children as to their biological children. News flash - they can’t. I can’t. None of us can love perfectly. But even so, my husband and I still said yes to fostering, yes to adopting, and yes to opening up our hearts to love. It’s not perfect, but it sure is life-changing. Years ago my husband made a comment along the lines of wanting to love all our kids the same. I responded that we would not love them the same, but we will love them unique to their personalities. I find that to be true, whether it be towards my biological or adopted kids. My love for each of them is a little different based on who they are, but not in quantity or in quality, but in how it is expressed and received.

I used to say that having kids is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s not. Fostering and adopting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Yet it has grown me as a parent, it has solidified my relationship with God in a way that “regular” parenting never could, and it has helped me to work through and heal from past traumas that I thought were no longer an issue. For my biological children, it is teaching them grace and kindness in ways that stretch their faith and grow their character. And for my adopted daughter herself, adoption has provided opportunities to feel safe, to feel loved, and to grow in character, emotional intelligence, and love.

How You Can Support Foster Families

I encourage everyone who is able to consider fostering a child. As of 2025, there were almost 3600 children in Maryland that came through the foster care system or were already in foster care placements. Nationwide, that number was almost 329,000 (source). Fostering or adopting shows the sacrificial love that Jesus showed to us. He took on discomfort in order to fold us into his family. He loved us when we were still in the wrong, and that love transforms us into wholeness. 

If you are unable to foster or adopt, or if it is not the right time in your life, there are other ways you can be involved. Foster the Family has blessed my family twice by offering a home cooked meal and a care package for our foster child within the first week of placement. They also offer support groups to foster families. They have locations in Maryland, New Jersey, and Florida. 

Other organizations that support foster families include Foster Love (care packages and outings), Tree House (educational support), and CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate). If you know a family who is fostering or has recently adopted, consider becoming a mentor or tutor for the foster youth. Special attention is huge for kids in foster care, because oftentimes they haven’t had enough of it. My adopted daughter has a mentor who is a close friend of mine, and sometimes they do special activities together. Supporting a foster family helps carry the load. 

For the time being, we are content with our family of five. However, my heart is open to fostering or adopting another child. I’m waiting for the right timing, butI know that whenever my husband and I decide to say yes to loving another soul, it will be one of the hardest yet most rewarding adventures we will take.